President James Madison: Ferrel! Come in here at once!
Ferrel: Yes mister president sir. What do you need?
PJM: I have given some thought of going to war with Britain. I declare that it would be pretty easy to get all of their land in North America, so I have decided that I want to. So go send out the troops, immediately!
Ferrel: Alright sir. But you will have to write a formal letter sir. To Britain I mean. You can’t just start to attack.
PJM: I always hated the politics behind war. Alright Ferrel, go get a nice clean sheet of paper. I want to start this war as soon as possible.
Ferrel: Yes mister president sir.
He leaves the room and comes back with a sheet of paper.
PJM: Write this Ferrel: “As I send this letter to you Britain it almost pains me to do so. The message that I send is not happy news. Well… for you. Heh heh. The United States of America are declaring war on Britain. Heh he he. At the moment that you send a response to this letter I will send out my troops to kick your keester off of the property that should already belong to the United States.” You got all that Ferrel? Well go make it longer and more pretty and let me sign it when you’re done.
Ferrel: Yes mister president sir.
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